What Shouldn't Be Is
by Lucillia
Summary: After he made his wish on a star, Hashirama got his best friend back, Team "Serious Issues" got a chance to rise in a new era, and Naruto found friendship and later love in an unusual, unexpected, and some may say wrong, place, when Naruto, Madara, Kakashi, Gai, and Obito end up in the past because of a Jutsu accident. Being written for and co-written with Flareose.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** Just so you don't scream at me, I will warn you here and now that this fic will eventually be turning into slash, and not exactly a parody of such. Yes, you read that right, and no, I do not plan on writing any lemons, as I do not feel myself to be an expert in that area because...er, TMI, you all don't want to know about an author's personal, er, I think I'll shut up about that now. The eventual pairing, when it reaches that point, will be a time-traveling Naruto, and a Danzo who is a few years younger than him mentally, though the relationship won't become more than friendship until the age-difference becomes somewhat negligible.

Feel free to either continue reading or to hit the back button depending on your preferences.

For those who like slash no matter how you label it, please go easy on me, as this will be my first actual slash story with actual, you know, romance, rather than a parody of slash. I will warn you here and now that Romance is not my forte.

For those who would like to know who to thank for giving me the idea, my co-author is some kid named Flareose. For those who would be inclined to flame just because this person likes slash, please go easy on the kid, as this author is relatively new to fan fiction, and I don't want anyone chasing the kid off before the kid writes something that is considered to be more than merely decent to the masses on their own. All authors need time to hone their art and grow as an artist in whichever direction they choose.

Now on with the story...

&!&!&!&!&!&!&

October 23. The birthday of one Senju Hashirama aka hell. At least as far as his brother Tobirama was concerned...

Most brothers would be excited about their brother's birthday. It meant cake and a party, and since it wasn't your birthday, you weren't the one who got a stupid hat shoved on their head by the family before getting sang at. Not Senju Tobirama however. Unfortunately for Tobirama, Hashirama had a tendency to get maudlin and introspective on his birthday, and if he wasn't there to listen to him, Hashirama would just find him and follow him around and talk at him until he did.

"You know Tobs, even though Madara nearly killed me on a number of occasions, and put me in the hospital so many times that I practically lived there, and summoned the Kyuubi no Kitsune on me in a rather pathetic attempt at stealing the title of Hokage... I can't help feeling that somewhere inside... He thought of me as his best friend." Hashirama was saying as he took another sip of his birthday sake which was more often than not the cause of his maudlin introspection.

There were tears in his brother's eyes as he recalled the good times he and Madara had until the Uchiha had died in that fight over the Hokage title nearly a decade earlier.

"Hn." Tobirama said before realizing what he'd said and wincing. He would rather not say anything at this point, especially since he didn't even understand how Hash could consider himself and Madara to have been friends in the first place. Unfortunately, he would have to speak.

"Um...Yeah." he started, knowing that he'd have to say something or his brother would just stare at him until he did.

Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately, considering his brother's mercurial mood that evening, that's about as far as he got before Hashirama spoke again, cutting him off.

"Remember all of the good times we had together? Like when Madara and Izuna would invite us to their house for dinner, even though they couldn't cook to save their lives? Or, how Madara used to walk all the way to the Senju Clan encampment just so he could sleep in my bed because he was afraid of the dark, and how we used to play fight? Those were such good times." Hashirama said fondly.

"Mm-hm." Tobirama said non-committally.

When his older brother was like this, there was no arguing with him.

In his book, those supposed good times weren't exactly such. The way he remembered it, there had been no play involved in those "Play fights", Madara's dinner invites had been a great deal more forceful, and the reason Madara had kept sneaking into Hashirama's tent had had nothing to do with the man being afraid of the dark.

Dinner at the Uchihas' place had been a nightmare as far as he was concerned, usually because it had involved them having been captured on the battlefield and held in captivity. While they had been given more food than the other Senju prisoners that had been taken, all of it had been poisoned to the max in the vain hope that they would die. They could have escaped any number of times before the "food" was served, but of course, Hash being Hash wouldn't let them leave until "dinner" was over since it would be rude to their hosts, which had meant that he'd been poisoned any number of times because Hash wouldn't let him get away without at least eating something.

Fortunately, he and his brother had developed a resistance to most of the more common poisons used by the Uchiha, and survived with little more than a few odd side-effects that had eventually faded when they got back to their own camp and took the necessary antidotes. Going numb or trying to retain his balance while the world was spinning hadn't been fun to say the least, and escaping while in such a state had been hell.

Izuna, who had gotten used to Hash and Madara's antics, would just stand there watching the whole rigamarole every time they were captured and shaking his head the entire time, especially when, instead of keeling over, Hash would politely ask for seconds.

When it came to Madara's supposed fear of the dark, that had been a product of Hashirama's imagination that was fueled by his desire to see the good in everybody. Madara had snuck into the Senju encampment, and later Hash's home for one thing, and one thing only, and that was to murder Hash.

Several times a month, he or one of his other clansmen would feel a foreign Chakra presence in the camp, and when they went to check on Hash, it was to find Madara standing over him holding a sharp and pointy weapon of some sort, such as a kunai, a tanto, a brace of shuriken, a rather nice replica of the Zelda Master Sword which had promptly been confiscated and placed in his personal armory, or, as on one memorable occasion, a very shiny silver spiked mallet.

Before Madara could even lay the first blow, Hash would open his eyes, look at Madara, smile, and ask him if he were afraid of the dark. Madara of course, would just stare at him for a bit, his head tilted to the side as if he were wondering if Hash had lost his mind or had been smoking something he'd been growing. That would be all the opening Hash would need to pull Madara into his bed like he used to do him when he was little, hold him tightly, and rock him back and forth while humming and smoothing down his hair and vowing to protect him from the Boogie Man or whatever.

Madara would just sort of struggle feebly, and scream obscenities at Hash until Hash grabbed the white handkerchief he kept by his bedside for this purpose and cover Madara's nose and mouth with it. Madara would eventually stop struggling and fall unconscious, and Hash would tuck him in with him and watch him "sleep".

Every damn time Madara snuck into camp this would happen. You'd think he would have learned his lesson well before he died. Whatever the hell Hash had put on that handkerchief had apparently killed what few braincells Madara had left long ago though.

And, don't get him started on when they were plotting out the village after the treaty had been signed. It had all gone to hell on the fifth day while they were meeting to make arrangements for the shinobi training grounds... Because you know, shinobi village and all, so naturally there had to be training grounds.

The main problem was of course making sure that the new training grounds weren't too close to any civilian population centers, weren't on any choice real-estate, weren't inconveniently located, and weren't too far from the village walls. Of course, there were other things to take into consideration as well, such as the potential growth of the village, and the concomitant growth of the shinobi force that would be using said grounds. So, after a great deal of surveying, they had allocated some areas for training here and there, and tagged on a purpose depending on what the grounds held in regards to different obstacles that would be necessary to provide a place that would be beneficial for training in the three essential ninja arts: Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Genjutsu.

Genjutsu, being primarily an illusory mind art, could be done just about anywhere, but it was often helpful to gain a feel for different environments in order to better enhance one's illusions, since if one detail was off, the entire illusion was often ruined. A number of the places that Konoha's citizens generally used as parks were actually training grounds meant to help a specialist hone Genjutsu that created a false sense of security or tranquility. The grounds for Taijutsu and Ninjutsu training needed to be a touch more specialized than the dual-purpose Genjutsu training grounds, especially for beginners who would need practice fighting in varied environments in order to be effective out in the field.

Naturally, there had been a number of arguments over the parcels of land that had been proposed for allocation for the training fields because, what one considered worthless, the other considered to be choice real-estate that they wouldn't mind putting clan housing on. These weren't your run of the mill Hashirama vs. Madara arguments, these had been vicious, vicious, spats in which dire insults had been thrown, and the ancestry and the sexual preferences of one's parents had been called into question numerous times. This had of course led to one of Hashirama and Madara's more infamous "Play fights".

As a result of that "Play fight", there was one training field that didn't give a crap about the people that trained in it, and would chew them up and spit them out if it could. As far as he was concerned, the place wasn't safe for anybody or anything, and most definitely wasn't suitable for training in unless one had a death wish. This 'training field' was called The Forty-Fourth Training Ground aka _The__ Forest of Death_. There were things in there that didn't even make sense. And everything, from the trees to the animals that made their home there, was just so fucking huge.

The snakes in there were bigger than anything else on the continent. The plants were just too large to be natural. The tigers were in a whole different league of their own. _You don't even know_. And, even that damn centipede that had followed Hash out of the new forest was huge.

Of course, with Hash being Hash, and the centipede being cute in Hash-Land, the creature now lived in the back yard. Hash had wanted a pet centipede, so naturally, he got one, and named it Bob. About the only thing Bob was good for though was scaring the shit out of tresspassers.

He sighed and shook his head putting the centipede out of his mind, and turning to the most recent topic of discussion, Hash and Madara's so-called friendship. Hash and Madara had fought over every little thing under the sun, and he was absolutely certain that far from considering Hash his best friend deep down or not, Madara had completely hated him. It figured that Hash would consider the man who had tried to kill him for most of their lives, and lost his life trying to take the post of Hokage by force his best friend though, considering the fact that his favorite pet growing up had been that half-feral dog that had bitten him half a dozen times before their uncle had finally had it put down for everyone's safety.

"He was my friend." Hashirama said sadly, pulling him on his musings over the reality of the situation that Hash was once again viewing through rose-colored lenses, before turning to look up at the night sky. "I wish I could have him back."

Shaking his head once more, he decided to just pay attention to the stars and pretend that this somewhat maudlin and rather delusional conversation that was hopefully at an end hadn't happened. It was a beautiful night sky, not a single cloud in sight, and Konoha, which was actually starting to look like a village rather than a bunch of tents, a few houses, and a dream, was practically glowing beneath the nearly-full moon.

As he looked at the moon, he found himself remembering something odd that he'd heard recently. Apparently, the Uchiha all still believed that old wive's tale about the moon being the body of the Jyuubi. Ha, like that was true. Weird Uchihas.

Hash, who was looking up at the night sky by his side, was still looking sad a half hour after he'd gotten whatever had had him down today off his chest, which made him sigh. Contrary to reality, Hash had considered Madara his friend, and in some weird twisted way, he guessed that if you looked sideways and squinted a bit you could say he was, since Madara was probably the only other person besides him who could even come close to understanding Hash. The two of them had their bad days, which was almost everyday... But, there had been some good days as well. Very few though they were, they were still good days. Days when Madara hadn't tried to kill Hash, and had been almost civil.

Seeing what looked like a shooting star in the night sky, he placed his hand on his big brother's shoulder, and turned his attention to it.

"Hey, come on. If I know Madara, he wouldn't want his... 'Best friend' to be sad on his birthday. Go on make a wish." he said.

It came out a bit forced, but it was the right thing to say... At least he hoped it was.

What was that odd chill that ran down his spine just now?

Hashirama looked towards the shooting star and sighed. His brother was right. Closing his eyes in the moment, he made his wish, wishing for new friends, and to see his best friend at least once again...

Tobirama smiled. That wasn't so hard. Now, time to enjoy the moment while it lasted, before Hash's mood dropped like a rock. Looking towards the sky again, he grinned.

Wow. That star, which was still falling by the way, was bright...

Wow it was really bright.

Wait a sec...

Why did it look like it was headed this way?

What. The. Fuck?

That star that Hashirama wished on, well, it wasn't exactly a star. What happened was that about eighty years into the future there was an epic fight. Well, actually, it was two epic fights that were taking place in the general vicinity of each-other. One was a battle in which dimensional vortexes were being thrown about like confetti, and the other was a battle in which Jutsu that required fuckons of Chakra were being created, often being invented on the spot. Any ninja who has read a novel that is of the "Accidental Time Travel" genre would automatically know that this was not a good combination...

As he raced around the battlefield trying to get a good hit in, Naruto mused on his current situation. He had thought that "Tobi" had been good with that fan, but Madara, who had been its true owner was on a whole 'nother level. He'd had any number of attacks batted back at him with the thing, which had driven him to use even more powerful attacks in hopes of finding one that could break the damn thing and get past Madara's defenses.

The latest attack didn't even have a name because he'd thought it up on the fly and improvised. It had been batted back like all of the others, knocking him into the middle of Tobi, Kakashi-sensei, and Gai's three-way battle where Tobi and Kakashi-sensei had been having a battle of the eyes, shunting crap into the other dimension, while Gai tried to land a blow on Tobi, who had turned out to be some random guy named Obito that Kakashi-sensei and Gai knew.

He still wasn't sure how the hell it had happened, but his attack, which had come with him when he'd gone flying backwards, had hit a pair of dimensional vortexes and the light from Gai's teeth, which he had known full well wasn't natural, and exploded. He, Kakashi, Gai, Obito, and Madara had been caught in the blast which had turned into an incredibly dizzying ride. Eventually, it had reached an end, and the lot of them were spat out of a massive dimensional vortex, and onto the ground.

He hadn't had much of an opportunity to survey his surroundings afterwards, because he had been too ill to do so.

"Great, we're back here again." a slightly high-pitched voice that was to his left said as he was emptying the contents of his stomach.


	2. Chapter 2

When Naruto had finished vomiting, he found that he had the time to look at the hand that had been holding him up as he had been puking his guts out, really look at his hand. While it was proportional to the rest of his body, it seemed...small somehow. He had the vague notion that it should be larger.

As he shifted his hand to change his position, the sleeve of his jacket slid down over it. Come to think of it, the thing that had fit him perfectly only minutes before was now ballooning around him like a freaking tent. Ignoring the commotion that was going on behind him, he made his way over to a nearby pond in order to check his reflection to see what was wrong. It seemed like he'd shrank, but by how much? And, how horrible did he look now?

As he reached the pond, almost afraid to peer at the surface to see what little of his reflection he could under the moonlight, Kakashi-sensei - who'd apparently gone through one ordeal too many and finally snapped - screamed at Obito for having puked on him, and Gai yelled about something or other being "Unyouthful". When he peered down at the water, he sighed in relief. From what he could see, rather than looking like some sort of dwarfish misshapen freak or undersized eldritch horror, he looked like he had when he was like ten or eleven, or thereabouts.

As he gazed at his reflection, Naruto was asking himself "Why am I like ten?!". That was of course not the question he should have been asking, since he would never receive a definitive answer beyond "It's your own damn fault stupid!". Everyone knows that you should never mix unknown Jutsu with anything involving other dimensions. Considering the possible consequences of doing so, up to and including a hole being rent in the fabric of the universe through which anything from creatures that looked like the love-children of octopi and bicycles to tax accountants could pour through, coming out on the other side of the mess you created alive, in your ten year-old body, and somewhere that was even vaguely recognizable, was getting off easy. Hey, at least the body was yours, and not someone else's, like say the aforementioned tax accountant's, and you could breathe the air that surrounded you because the atmosphere didn't mainly consist of say methane or ammonia for instance.

When he realized that he wasn't receiving any comments from the peanut gallery, er, Kurama, about the situation they were in, he decided to see why in case there were some potentially life or world ending complications in that area.

'Kurama... Kurama? You there...' he asked almost frantically. Naruto may have been in a different world, or timeline, or whatever considering how wild that ride he'd just went on had been, but he didn't understand why Kurama wasn't talking, and as Kurama continued to not answer, several increasingly dire theories sprang to mind.

Meanwhile, as Naruto struggled to gain his attention, Kurama was doing a terrible job at trying to keep from throwing up. There was a reason why he didn't time travel after all.

**"Dammit Brat! Warn me ahead of time before you decide to do something like that!" **he finally groaned as he did his best not to puke and turn his new cage into something even more disgusting than the sewer he had lived in for the last sixteen years.

Kyuubi puke would most definitely not be coming out of the seal. Ever.

On the other side of the field from the pond, Hashirama and Tobirama rushed to where the "fallen star" had landed, wondering exactly what the unidentified fallen object had been. Had it merely been a meteor? Or, maybe a jutsu gone wrong? Or, was it an actual, honest to god, Extra Terrestrial like in those stories their older cousin had tried to frighten them with when they were kids?

When they arrived at the landing site of their fallen star, the scene that met their eyes had not quite been what they had expected. Tobirama was completely horrified. '_The thing' was back._ He'd recognize it anywhere, considering how distinctive its hair was even amongst a clan that was well known for their unique hair. But, it couldn't be. It had died years ago. It had died, and Hash had cried over it for a week because it had been "the only person who understood him". Hash had even gone to great lengths to prepare a nice funeral for it only to discover that someone had stolen the freaking body.

He honestly didn't know or care who the other three who seemed to be content with fighting amongst themselves were. He was too busy trying to figure out how to dispose of IT before Hash...

Too late.

Hashirama gasped when he took in the sight before him before bringing his hands to his face and crying tears of joy. Being Senju Hashirama, the badass leader of the Senju clan, these were Manly tears of joy that in no way whatsoever made him look girly despite his long pretty hair and beautiful dark eyes that had a number of women looking at him with jealousy as well as admiration.

He did a little happy dance around the field in which the shooting star had fallen. His birthday star wish had come true! Not only did he have his best friend back, but he had new ones as well!

Madara, who had recognized his surroundings from before everything had changed and people had started carving faces into the side of what had previously been a rather nice cliff, felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as an ominously familiar presence approached. When he'd heard someone crying "Manly" tears of joy nearby, he had a feeling that he knew why. His suspicions were immediately confirmed when he'd turned around to find himself looking up at the original peace loving, tree-hugging, Leaf-nin who had made him realize that the entire world was wrong, since any world that had him in it was obviously Hell and needed to be replaced.

"Madara!" the fiendish creature excitedly exclaimed before it started running towards him, re-creating a scene from his worst nightmares.

He desperately scrabbled backwards, barely having the presence of mind to make his way onto his feet a few seconds later. The instant he was standing, he turned tail and ran for all he was worth, as images of the man grabbing him, and smothering him, and chloroforming him and using him as a teddy bear ran through his head.

The vain hope that once, just once, he'd actually manage to kill the monster in human form before he woke up and grabbed him had kept him rather stupidly coming back each month only for it to happen again and again to the point that his brother had commented that he must enjoy being practically molested by the unstable Senju because he kept going back for more. It wasn't that he enjoyed the torture that he was forced to endure, it was that damnable siren call of "Maybe this time..." that drew him back to the Senju's tent time and again.

Every time he'd answered that call of "Maybe this time...", the damn Senju had caught him off guard as he was working up the proper enthusiasm for the task at hand so the experience would be at its sweetest and most memorable since taking out the leader of the Senju was supposed to be his greatest and most satisfying kill. Before he could reach that point where the perfect moment for striking had been reached, the Senju would hit him with a Genjutsu that he supposed was meant to be calming, grab him while he was in the process of dispelling the damn thing that always looked as if it had been created by someone who'd eaten the wrong kind of mushroom, and proceed to drag him into his bed against his will.

Fortunately for his pride amongst other things, including certain body parts that were unmentionable in polite company, all the Senju had ever done and wanted to do with him when he'd dragged him into bed with him was treat him like a younger sibling who had run to his elder brother for comfort because of some storm or the dark or whatever and then use him as an over-sized teddy bear. Unfortunately, that had been quite enough to cause his reputation to suffer quite the blow over the years, especially when people heard about it happening on multiple occasions. That, and the rumors of the exact nature of his and Hashirama's relationship had taken a rather unsettling turn over the years before he'd gotten stuck in that goddamn underground cavern with no way out, and no way of killing himself since the goddamn tree wouldn't let him until Obito had shown up.

Obito, despite being everything that had made him want to strangle his brother on numerous occasions, had been like a gift from heaven. Or at least he'd thought so up until he'd turned around and found himself looking up and up and up at a man he'd thought he'd seen the back of and had prayed to never see again. Obito had devoted his life to following the plan that would create an ideal world in which everyone - especially him - could live happily right up until that moment when he had been dragged into an even worse hell than the one he'd just left after having been returned from the dead.

"Madara!" the fiendish Senju creature who had longer legs and therefore could run faster cried once more as he snatched him up into a smothering hug.

"Don't worry Madara." the creature that bore the shape of a man whispered into his hair as his arms tightened around him. "I'll take care of you, and raise you right so you won't go and get yourself killed like you did ever again."

That settled it. He was obviously in the deepest pit of hell which had been reserved for the worst sinners. Whatever it was he had done to deserve this, he truly and sincerely regretted it from the bottom of his heart, and was willing to do whatever it took to make amends if it got him out of here.

Naruto, whose attention had been drawn to Madara's plight by the loud yells of "Madara!" watched the disgruntled and also pint-sized Madara be smothered by the guy who looked like the Shodai Hokage in amusement. Based on Madara's body language, he clearly wasn't enjoying the hug, and if anyone deserved to be tortured, it was him. Standing behind the man who looked like the Shodai Hokage was a man who looked like the Nidaime who had a long-suffering look on his face.

Off to the side, Obito, Kakashi and Gai fought on oblivious to Madara's plight and the fact that the three of them had somehow ended up back in the bodies they had last possessed when they were roughly ten years of age. Had they tried to use anything other than Taijutsu at that point, they probably would have noticed if only because of the sharp dip in Chakra capacity and control. Then again, considering how absorbed they were in their titanic struggle, they probably would have attributed the problem to the jutsu that had landed them where they were.

Oh well, they'd notice eventually...


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto explored his new house. It was a little cabin in a wooded area which the Shodai Hokage had created for him using a jutsu that Yamato-taicho had once used during a mission so they'd have a place to sleep. From what he'd seen of it so far, his new house was pretty damn sweet. There was something about it that niggled at him though. Something about the location of the house that was bothering him for no reason he could really discern.

He would sort it out later though, he was much too tired to think now. The last twelve hours since he, Kurama, Kakashi-sensei, Gai, Tobi and Madara had arrived in this time had been eventful to say the least. Add the amount of time he'd been in battle before he had been thrown back to the Founding Era and...

After the Shodai Hokage had stopped smothering Madara when the Uchiha had finally passed out, he finally started turning his attention to the people who had come with Madara. It had taken all of two minutes for him to break up the fight between Kakashi, Gai, and that Obito person that Tobi had turned out to be. And then, it had taken the Shodai and Nidaime Hokages nearly an hour to get the lot of them back to the Shodai's house. Most of that time had been spent breaking up fights between Kakashi and Obito and keeping them from killing each-other. After they'd gotten to the Senju residence, Hashirama's wife Mito had slapped seals on them to prevent them from fighting, and Tobirama had then asked them to tell him how they got there.

Cacophany immediately ensued as all of them had started talking at once, and each tried to talk over the others in order to get their version of events across much the way the children they appeared to be would. Throughout his several aborted attempts to get his side of the story across, he had been suffering through an increasingly intense headache that had spread and started settling into his bones. Much to everyone's shock, Mito soon started suffering similar symptoms as well. After a frantic search for the cause of this, it was eventually discovered to be some sort of resonance frequency thing that had to do with the Kyuubi and the fact that it - or half of it rather - was in two different places at once, and that he had to stay a certain distance away from Mito to keep it from happening, which meant that there would be no happy Uzumaki family get-togethers anytime in the near future.

After they had finally sorted out the Kyuubi problem and got their stories across, Tobirama had informed them that there was quite likely no way of returning to their own time aside from taking the long way around. Hashirama then promptly stated that they could make new lives in this era, and started planning them out for them including their upcoming enrollment in the inaugural class of the Konoha Ninja Academy despite the fact that none of them needed it. Tobirama, though he looked like he was sucking lemons the entire time he did so, reluctantly agreed with Hashirama's plans.

After Hashirama had planned out their lives, the lot of them were left alone for a few hours so they could "get some sleep". There had been a fat chance of that happening however as Obito and Madara were in the same room with them. It didn't matter to them that Madara was unconscious and Obito had some sort of seal that would keep him from killing them on him, none of them were going to close their eyes around the two of them.

Eventually, after the strained silence grew to be too much, he fell into talking to Obito since he didn't really know the guy aside from the fact that he'd been Kakashi's teammate and had later posed as Madara while going by the alias of Tobi and was somewhat curious. Eventually, the conversation turned away from Obito's past and the Moon's Eye Plan and towards their immediate future at which point Kakashi-sensei and Maito Gai had joined in. As none of them had wanted to remain in the Founding Era for various reasons, they had decided to call a temporary truce with Obito until a means of returning to their own time could be found since none of them were willing to believe that it was completely impossible.

Eventually, after hours of talking and planning, morning came, and after getting up for the day and dealing with a hangover, Hashirama had led him and the others minus Madara out to this place that was close to the main village but far enough out that he could have his privacy and built a new home for him to live in.

"Hey Naruto, did you pick your room yet?" Obito called over to him in an impatient tone, violently pulling him out of his musings.

"Pick my room...?" he asked.

"Yeah, weren't you paying attention? This place is for all of us." Obito replied.

"All of...?" started.

"What? You didn't think you'd get an entire four bedroom house all to yourself did you?" Obito replied.

Oh crap. Not only was he like back in the days when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and electricity and indoor plumbing were little more than pipe dreams, but he was going to be rooming with Kakashi, Obito, and Maito freaking "Flames of Youth!" Gai.

"I'm in hell!" he groaned.

"Don't worry, we can get out eventually." Obito said. "All we have to do is gather all of the Biju, recreate the Jyuubi, bring it under our control, and use its power to create a world that is Paradise on Earth."

"Is that your solution to everything?" Kakashi asked.

"That and the old Uchiha Motto." Obito replied.

"Old Uchiha Motto?" he asked, almost dreading the answer.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Obito replied.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep. I don't care if you try to murder me at this point." he said after staring at Obito in complete silence for several long moments and deciding he didn't want to deal with this or anything else without several hours of sleep behind him.

After heading inside and collapsing on the floor because the Hokage had forgotten to include little things like furniture when he'd created the house, he was awoken bright and early the next morning by the Nidaime who had been tasked with herding him, Kakashi-sensei, Gai, and Tobi to the Academy by his brother who was apparently back home dealing with Madara who wasn't feeling too well at the moment. He tried and failed several times to feel even the least bit of sympathy for the Uchiha. He may not have been about revenge because of that whole circle of violence thing but, that didn't mean that he didn't appreciate it when jerks got what was coming to them.

Unfortunately, he was also getting some of the fallout of Madara's well-deserved and long-delayed justice in the form of another stint at Konoha's Ninja Academy...

After being impatiently glared at by the Nidaime while he splashed his face with water, he and the others were dragged to the Academy where they were stuck introducing themselves to a bunch of kids who had been their grandparents' and great-grandparents' generation the day before. As he'd walked to the Academy trailing after Kakashi and Obito who had been yelling at each-other about some incident that had take place years before he was born and Gai who trailed behind them in uncharacteristic silence as one of his massive eyebrows occasionally twitched in annoyance, he'd finally figured out what it had been about the house's that had bothered him. The landmarks were different but, that didn't stop him from eventually figuring out that the house was located where his apartment building used to be.

Kakashi's introduction to the Academy class which included a very young version of the Old Man that he'd only recognized because the Sandaime had once shown him pictures of when he was a kid was interspersed with snide comments from Tobi. Tobi's introduction was interrupted by several scoffs from Kakashi, and Gai's completely traumatized the poor class including little Danzo who was amongst the students somewhere.

Eventually, it was his turn to introduce himself...

"Hi," he said. "My name is Naruto, and I like my home when people aren't trying to invade or put the world under some sort of Genjutsu. I don't like traitors, revenge obsessed idiots, and people who would kill their comrades in order to put the world in a Genjutsu. My hobbies are fighting, helping people, going out for Ramen with Iruka-sensei, and Gardening. My dream for the future is to get back to my own time and become Hokage!"

Kakashi smiled indulgently as Naruto made his speech. No matter where you dumped Naruto, what situation you dropped him in, he'd always be the same. The same however couldn't be said for the boy whom he would have sworn was Naruto's spiritual twin up until two days ago. He was still regretting snatching that hour and a half of sleep. The nightmare he'd had made it so completely not worth it. Seeing Naruto and Obito standing there in that plush hallway in those pale yellow dresses staring up at him blankly and asking him to play with them forever had been beyond disturbing.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto sighed as he pulled against the ropes that bound him. Four years out of the Academy, and he'd yet to learn the rope-shredding technique. Kakashi, Obito, and Gai had already escaped their bonds and were back at their desks. Apparently, if the Shodai Hokage wanted them to attend the Academy, they attended the Academy no ifs, ands, buts, I don't wants, and "But, I've already graduated and been a ninja for x years" about it.

The Hokage's word went because he had the power to back it up and they didn't. This was the guy who had curb-stomped Madara despite the fact that Madara had had the Kyuubi behind him after all. The best they could hope for in this situation was to find a way to their own time where they could resolve the whole Jyuubi issue and get on withe their lives. If they couldn't, they'd be living how Hashirama had planned it out with them being in the Academy for another year, graduating, being put on teams with the locals, running missions in the here and now etc, and, through it all, he expected them all to be friends despite all the things they'd gone through that would make them disinclined to be such with each-other.

After two hours of worming his way out of the ropes, the Academy let out for the day and he was told by the Instructor to get lost. It was as he was tripping over his own feet on the stairs that he learned that something had occurred to Tobi that hadn't occurred to him, and that was that the Shodai Hokage hadn't put the seal that kept Kakashi, Gai, and Tobi from fighting on him. The first notice he was given of this oversight on the Hokage's part was a flying kick to the head.

The fight that ensued was a mess. He'd gotten used to the longer reach that his greater height had afforded him. That, and his muscle memory was completely shot. Years of practice had been wiped out in an instant. Fortunately, the same had happened to Tobi. Unfortunately, Tobi had had more practice and training than he by this point, and had already been out of the Academy the last time he was physically this age. End result, he was nearly curb-stomped and would have been if Hashirama hadn't stopped the fight and slapped a seal on him.

Dinner that evening was somewhat tense. He, Kakashi-sensei, and Gai had prepared their own meals to make sure that Tobi wouldn't poison them, and Tobi had prepared his own so we wouldn't put a nasty surprise in his. They all sat around the table that had mysteriously appeared along with a bunch of other furniture and household items while they had been away and stared at Obito, just waiting for him to make a move. Suffice to say, very little food was eaten that evening.

That night, Naruto blocked the door to his room with the heavy tiered dresser that had been placed in his room in lieu of a closet, and did his best to sleep despite the fact that the room had a window.

&!&!&!&!&

Naruto gave a put upon sigh as he made his way towards the Konoha Library less than an hour before it closed for the day. In any era, the library was a place he generally avoided unless he was forced to go there, even this leaner, meaner library that didn't contain nearly as much shelves to get lost amongst. He learned best by doing, which meant that reading did almost nothing for him, even after Jiraiya had taught him to do so properly. He would have to visit the library now however if he wanted to find the best way get himself back to normal as quickly as possible. There was a chance that if he didn't, he would miss something that would have saved him a great deal of frustration and effort.

"I can't believe it!" Naruto groaned over the fact that the library of all things most likely held the solution to his problem that the medic hadn't had when he'd visited him earlier.

**"'Believe it' Naru-chan." **the Kyuubi quipped.

His brow twitched as that accursed fox laughed in the background of his mind. Earlier today it had been him that had been laughing at the fox after Kurama had made a particularly bone-headed comment. Now it was the other way around, and that was just another thing he didn't need today.

Earlier, Kurama had thought to question something he himself hadn't even considered, despite the overwhelming number of clues that would have eventually led him to the same conclusion. Something that made the Kyuubi laugh like a mad man... The question that the Kyuubi had asked had been: What if he couldn't use the Jutsu that he learned since he was last this age, much the way his fighting had suffered? What if his Chakra Control was back to where it had been when he was last this age when he couldn't even hold a leaf to his forehead and climbing a tree was so far beyond him it wasn't even funny?

Without even pausing to think about it, he'd told Kurama that he was full of it and attempted to prove his point. He attempted to make a Shadow Clone only for said clone to come up pale as a ghost and shaking like a leaf in the wind. Said clone also had breathing problems, taking huge gulps of air just to attempt to not puff away. To say that he'd been a bit shocked by this development was an understatement. But, thanks to his stubbornness, he wasn't going to let that little setback serve as final proof for him. Looking at the clone with determination in his eyes as the clone looked back at him as if he'd gone mad, he'd ordered a Rasengan to be made. Looking at him funnily the entire time, the clone tried to gather Chakra into his creator's palm.

If he hadn't been so all-fired determined to prove that nothing was wrong, he would have noticed the Rasengan didn't look all that great... Or that it looked a bit unstable as well... But, since he was so determined to prove everything was fine despite the fact that it wasn't because that was just one more thing he didn't need, he didn't. After thrusting the now unstable Rasengan into a nearby tree with all of his might, he was almost as quickly sent flying back, crashing into another tree nearly thirty feet away.

... That had hurt a little.

Crack!

Make that a lot.

After dropping by to see a local medic whom one of the locals had given him directions to to get some advice and some painkillers for his back, he'd made his way to the village's new library as the man had suggested. Apparently, the library held a sizable collection of rare texts that covered things that hadn't been seen in generations that had been donated by the clans that had come together to found Konoha. The medic had found a number of lost cures in a text in the botany section that had been donated by the Hyuuga the year before. Personally, he'd rather take some bitter medicine to deal with the problem.

Walking into the library, he gazed at the shelves with a somewhat stupefied expression because he was completely lost the instant he came in the door. He'd never seen a single one of the books that occupied the shelves in the library before. Not a one of these were on the shelves in the Library right now were on the shelves back in his own time. At least not that he'd seen. Not only that, but the shelves were arranged in an entirely different configuration than they had been in ever since he'd first set foot in the library back when he'd started at the Academy.

As he stood there gawping, a pale boy who was about his current physical age with brown hair and black eyes that were hidden behind a pair of glasses walked up to him. The boy who was wearing a red shirt with a white collar looked very familiar to him, but he couldn't quite place him.

"Do you need help?" the boy asked.

"...Yeah." he finally admitted. "I need to find some books on Chakra control and stuff..."

"Chakra Control, that's easy." the boy said before disappearing amongst the shelves.

Belatedly realizing that he should have followed him, he disappeared into the shelves a second later. Less than a minute later, he was walking out of the stacks with a sizable armload of tomes, tomes that looked older than the village had been when he'd been running around it as a ninja. Turning back to the boy who had found the books, he smiled in thankful appreciation.

Naruto couldn't thank this kid enough. Not only did the pipsqueak find some good books on Chakra Control and books on some of the basic Academy Jutsu that were no-longer taught in his time in less time than it had taken him to shuffle up the library steps, but now he also had a new sparring partner to help him adjust to the fact that he was now nearly three-quarters of a meter shorter than he used to be and, maybe, a new friend as well.

"Thank you very much." He said gratefully as he set the books down on a nearby table.

"No problem. Anything to help out a fellow Academy student." the glasses-wearing boy replied.

"Hey um... If it's not to much of a problem. What is your name by the way?" He asked slightly embarrassed that he hadn't asked earlier.

"Oh right. My name's Mitokado..." That name sounded familiar... "Homura."

What a nice...

...Name.

Holy crap! It was that old dude that constantly hung around the Old Man. Geez, he didn't know that he used to be so...so...short.


End file.
